Prosecute Yoo? You too, Madam Speaker

Yesterday, I wrote a defense of former US Justice Department lawyer and current Berkeley law professor John Yoo for the so-called "torture memo" he wrote in August 2002. I encourage all my fans to read Yoo's memo for yourselves. Yes, it's a bit dry and sounds like a stuffy lawyer wrote it. But it is a concise analysis of the issue on which Yoo was tasked with opining.

Today, the CIA revealed a memo showing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi knew of the Agency's plans to use waterboarding and other "enhanced interrogation techniques"...in September 2002. In other words, one month after Yoo's memo hit Attorney General John Ashcroft's desk, Pelosi, then the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, was briefed by the CIA on the very issues discussed in Yoo's memo. What's worse, Yoo's memo speaks in generalities never mentioning any specific techniques being reviewed while, by contrast, Pelosi's briefing included details.

Pelosi raised no objections during the briefing or afterward. That is, until about 18 months ago when Bush Derangement Syndrome manifested itself in the form of Attorney General Michael Mukasey's confirmation hearings. Over the past months, Pelosi has gotten out in front of the parade and formally endorsed a "truth commission" to investigate the Bush administration's anti-terrorism policies.

Tell you what, we'll make you a deal. Let's shine the light of truth on everyone involved, including you and your fellow members of Congress, and let the chips fall where they may. I propose we establish jointly with Congress and the Obama administration a blue-ribbon "torture truth" investigative team. If waterboarding or other techniques are torture, then everyone who actively approved or participated in the practices, or tacitly supported them through failures to object when alerted, should be investigated and tried for federal crimes. Yes, that includes you, Madam Speaker, many of your fellow representatives, and Professor Yoo, too.

Of course, the Anointed One would also have to go back on his promise and allow investigators to pursue the CIA agents and operatives who actually did or supervised the dirty work. And it would all have to be made public so we'd be providing invaluable intelligence to our enemies. Hmmm, that could get ugly. America would be in significantly greater danger, the CIA would be further emasculated, and terrorists would be emboldened. The damage would likely be catastrophic.

Ah, no matter. That's the price we pay for full disclosure.

Or we can recognize this issue for what it truly is--a half-baked, hysterical, hypocritical attempt at political gamesmanship, rewriting history, and blaming that Evil Bush, his puppet master Cheney, the war-mongers in his administration and those mean-spirited Republicans for every perceived ill--and realize that the rare American misdeeds (if they can be categorized as such) are not the equivalent of anything our brutal, misogynistic, Stone Age enemy does on a daily basis.

Choose your side, Madam Speaker. I'll pick the American patriots, who willingly do whatever it takes to protect us, over your blue ribbon commission every time.

Leave Yoo Alone

Let me see if I have this straight.

It’s 2002. The US is still reeling in the aftermath of the terror attacks on 9/11. Al Qaeda is now Enemy No. 1 and we are at war. A lawyer for the US Justice Department is given the assignment to research the issue of whether interrogation methods proposed to be used on al Qaeda suspects constitute torture under US and international law. He reviews applicable federal statutes, treaties and agreements. He concludes that the proposed interrogation methods do not violate US or international law or treaties.

So he puts it on paper.

His reward? If some have their way, it’ll be disbarment and criminal prosecution..

Liberal lefties are having a conniption over Prof. John Yoo, the former Justice Department attorney who drafted the now infamous memo. They call him a war criminal, picket and protest his speaking engagements, and are demanding he be fired from his position as a Berkeley law professor. Nothing gets under a socialist hippy’s skin quite like a “person of color” who achieved high levels of success the old fashioned way (see e.g. Justice Clarence Thomas).

Whatever happened to free speech? I thought the liberal loons were all for it. Unless it’s racist. Or not politically correct. Or Christian or mentions God (or “god”). Sorry, I digressed.

Back to free speech. If you read Yoo’s memo you’ll find a thoughtful analysis of the issues presented. You won’t find any mention of “waterboarding” or other techniques some describe as torture. Instead, Yoo dispassionately interprets the relevant language in statutes and treaties and concludes the proposed (but unspecified) techniques are not torture. You might disagree with his analysis but he clearly is not war-mongering or out for blood.

The dean of Berkeley’s law school, Christopher Edley Jr. has rejected calls to fire Yoo but, like the good lefty he is, couldn't miss the chance to throw more fuel on Yoo's bonfire. “Assuming one believes as I do that Professor Yoo offered bad ideas and even worse advice during his government service, that judgment alone would not warrant dismissal or even a potentially chilling inquiry.” Gee, thanks Dean Edley for the words of support. In other words, I agree with you liberal lefties about Yoo and even though the sight of him makes me vomit I just can’t fire him unless he's committed a crime...so keep it up and I'll have my chance to fire him.

Unlike Yoo, the liberal left is out for blood. They are all too ready to frog-march Yoo from his office directly to Gitmo. Maybe we should waterboard him to see if he knows anything about the Valerie Plame case. That way he can feel what it’s like. Yank his law license, vandalize his house and threaten his wife and kids while you’re at it. They deserve it for hitching their wagon to him. And get Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice at the same time.

Calling Yoo a war criminal is ridiculous and reprehensible. It’s nothing more than an attempt to project Bush Derangement Syndrome on anyone and everyone involved with the War on Terror. The lefty wackos should be ashamed of themselves, but apparently being a lefty means having no shame.

How do you expect an attorney to provide honest and comprehensive legal analysis of a complicated and controversial issue if he knows that he can be disbarred and prosecuted if he doesn’t come to the “correct” conclusion? I’m sure lawyers will be lining up for that job.

Prosecute Yoo and you might as well eliminate the Justice Department. In its place we’ll establish the Department of Peace, American War Crimes Prosecution, and International Criminal Court Enforcement. That’ll scare the crap out of al Qaeda.